Pulling God into Yourself
Divine Life
Society Publication: Chapter5 The Heart and
Soul of Spiritual Practice by Sri Swami Krishnananda
When you sit for meditation,
chant Om beautifully, deeply, sonorously – from the depths of your heart – for
a few minutes. Chanting Om in this manner will produce a vibration not only
within yourself, but also externally in the atmosphere around, especially if it
is chanted in a chorus as you have done just now. Its effect is immense.
All things in the world are
only vibrations. Concretised, dense forms of subtle vibrations are the things
of the world. Really, there is no solid substance ultimately in this universe.
There is a hard granite stone in front of you which is a very concrete
substance – heavy, and you cannot lift it. But this heavy substance is the form
taken by a tremendous cohesion of molecules which form this object called the
stone. There is gravity inside every object, which makes it appear as what it
is. Else, the molecules will disperse in different directions and there will be
no object at all. If the molecules are dissected into their components, they
become atoms. If the atoms are dissected into their essential core, they become
an electromagnetic force.
The nucleus of the atom is
what controls the form of the atom, even as the nucleus of the solar system,
which is the sun, keeps the balance of the structure of the entire solar
system. The central nucleus of our personality is what we call the principle of
self-affirmation. In ordinary language, we call it ego.
The ego is not a solid object
but a centralisation of concentrated energy. This chanting of Om, to which you
are accustomed, is actually a synchronisation of yourself to the great
vibration that originated the so-called cosmos. The beginning of the universe
was a huge centralisation of energy. Physicists tell us that the solid object
that we touch with our hands is not actually a solid object. It is a sensation
created by the molecular action of the so-called thing called the object, and
the molecular action in the tips of our fingers.
I am placing before you this
analysis to introduce you to the method of contemplating the whole cosmos as a
pure, undifferentiated continuum of force. If this method of appreciation in
your consciousness is possible for you, what will you desire in your mind? Who
will you desire? Which thing? Even the space in which you are living, which you
erroneously consider as emptiness, is not emptiness, really speaking. You regard
a thing that is not capable of being caught by the perceptual organs of the
eyes as non-existent. People say that God may not exist because He is not a
solid object that can be conceived or perceived by the sense organs.
What do you mean by God? If
the idea is not clear in your mind, you will not be able to meditate; you
cannot concentrate. The mind wanders because it is accustomed to think only in
terms of visual objects; invisible forces cannot become the content of the
operation of the mind. This means to say that all our thought processes are
irrelevant in the context of the Ultimate Reality, the ultimate nature of
things.
The Bhakti Shastras speak of
surrender – the offering of oneself to God. This is the idea you may have in
your mind about surrender. What do you mean by 'surrender'? You have a solid
body sitting here, and are you going to offer this body to God? Who are you
offering when you say, "I offer myself to God"? This pinpointed,
illusory centre, which is the ego that asserts that it alone is and nothing
else can be, this objectionable force of self-assertion has to be surrendered,
offered, dedicated to a non-centralised cosmical operation, as wide as space,
which is conscious of Itself. That indescribable widest expanse, beyond even
the concept of space, conscious of Itself, is the only Being. This is why we
say God alone is. You have to practise tremendous self-control even to
understand what God is – what to speak of actual dedication of yourself to
God's Being.
The idea of God being far away
is implicitly present in every centre of thinking because of your involvement
in space which divides everything, one from the other. The concept of distance
is introduced into the mind because of this spatial expanse called the sky.
Actually, there is no such thing as distance. Distance is an illusion. If that
is the case, how far is God? If God alone is – remember this point again and
again – who will think God? Who will meditate on God? Can you stand outside
creation and think it?
I am trying to take your mind
gradually to the point of what is known as supreme devotion to God – para bhakti. The apara bhakti, or the lower
devotion, is the love of God as a huge person ruling in the heavens – far, far
away from the concept of man. The lower devotion consists in chanting the Name
of God as if He has a descriptive capacity or attribute by which you can
explain the nature of God. Study of scripture, company of saints and sages,
pilgrimage to holy centres, taking a bath in a holy river, and worship in a
temple, on an altar – these are gauna bhakti, as
it is known, a secondary form of devotion, which is very interesting, very
important and very necessary. But even with all these appurtenances of
devotion, your mind will wander. You will have a commitment. Simultaneously, in
your mind you doubt the possibility of achieving anything substantially in
spite of all the routines of your worship, fasting, visualising, etc. A fear
creeps into the heart: "What is happening to me finally?"
This fear is due to the
separation of yourself from the heaven which God is. You must know that the
kingdom of God is within you. There is no 'inside' in this creation of God.
There is also no 'outside'.
Ask your mind again and again:
"Do you really believe that only God exists?" The answer you give to
this question reveals what kind of person you are as a religious or spiritual
person. Do you really believe, from the bottom of your heart, that God is the
only reality? You cannot believe it because you see things other than God. Do
you believe that God created the world? Did God exist before creation?
Naturally, you cannot say He did not exist. Where was He before He created?
Your sins will be destroyed in an instant if you can think that God existed
before creation. Then He will not be away from you.
Another difficulty before you
is a suspicion that God cannot give you all things. You, of course, cannot deny
that God can give all things. But the whisper of the heart which is inside the
heart tells you, "Beware! Don't make a mistake! Who has seen God, and what
has God given to devotees?"
Before you reach the
borderland of God's existence, you have to pass through veritable hell, indeed.
They are not certain places, some locations of creation. They are certain
conditions prevailing, some circumstances through which you have to pass under
the order of this body which you consider as yourself. You will not keep these
ideas in your mind for more than a few minutes. The whole thing has gone to the
winds. Why? Because you have heard what has been said, but you have not
bestowed thought on it. Merely listening is called sravana.
The impression of what has been heard has to go into the mind and you have to
start thinking it deeply. "This is what I have heard." That is why I
recommend that one should make notes during any lecture or reading, of salient
points which strike one as important, because everything that is told or read
cannot be retained in the mind.
Deep thinking of these truths
that you have heard is called manana. Manana is deeper than sravana, which is just hearing.
When what you thought, what you heard and the ideas you gathered into yourself
get absorbed into your being, they become not merely ideas of your mind but
thus become you only. Idea itself is you. You
become the idea itself – the merging of the consciousness of whatever you have
heard into your own being. Knowledge becomes being. This state is called nidhidyasana.
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