Why Do We Not Surrender?
The scriptures tell us that
our fundamental error is wrong identification. We, who are universal Spirit,
have identified ourselves with that which is actually an object to us—our body
and mind. To get over this wrong identification, they have prescribed different
yogas that are suitable to the nature of different individuals.
However, Lord Krishna makes it
very clear that in the final analysis there is only one way to cross this ocean
of samsara and that is to take refuge in Him alone. In the last teaching
verse of the Gita, He is even more specific. Abandon all dharmas, He
tells us—all your ideas of what is right and wrong—and take in refuge in Me
alone.
Why is it, when Lord Krishna
is so specific, and when we know that the essence of the spiritual life—no
matter what our yoga—is surrender, that we are unable to do it easily? The
truth is, no matter how much we say we want God, most of us are unwilling to
let go of control of our own life. Part of us may want to surrender, but
another part of us doesn’t want to let go of control. Why is this?
If we examine it, we will find
that normally there are two reasons. One, we have unfulfilled desires. There
are things that we want. We are afraid that if we let go of control of our
life, if we surrender totally to God, we may not be able to fulfil those
desires. This requires sharp discrimination. We have to realize that there is
nothing in what we desire that will give us permanent happiness. We have to
examine our experience and recognize that there is no real happiness in
anything in this world. Unless we do this discrimination, unless we convince
ourselves of this truth, then the quality of surrender that is required by Lord
Krishna is out of the question.
The other reason that we are
reluctant to let go of control of our life is fear. We don’t know what might
happen if we do. The purpose of all our spiritual practices is, in fact, to
give us confidence in God, indeed, to convince us that it is safe to let go,
that we have nothing to fear. But if we continue to think that the purpose of
our spiritual practices is to get something for the ego, then we are
perpetuating our problem. We’re protecting our ego and its desires and fears.
We have to recognize that we
need to deal with are our desires and our fears. Our desires we deal with by
analysis. The way to deal with our fears is to take chances. We have to become
vulnerable. We must trust God in spite of our fears. Our fears want us to
protect ourselves. Wisdom says, I must conquer this fear, I must trust God in
spite of the fear.
We think that courage is some
great quality, and it is. But it is actually doing the right thing, doing our
duty in spite of our fears. Our duty as seekers is to trust God. Our duty as
seekers is to take refuge in God alone. That we may have fear, that we may have
reluctance is beside the point. We must do what is right, we must do our duty
in spite of any reluctance, in spite of any fear. And God is always there to
bless our choice and to help us.
Therefore, while wrong
identification may be our fundamental problem, it can be cured by surrender and
trust, by recognizing that there is no happiness in anything in this world and
that God is safe to trust.
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